Adventures in Bookmaking (how to not study for the GRE)

So, you want to study for the GRE? SAT? Some other important test? Never fear--you just need the right materials!

First, you need to keep track of vocabulary. To the left, you will see what is possibly one of the most brilliant inventions of all time. The Vokabelheft. This is a small notebook (4"x6") that fits into a purse, backpack, or back pocket. The Germans use these all the time. And, really, they're awesome.

The page is divided down the middle (see photo at right). On the left side, you write down any new words. These can be words you've never seen or heard before, words you've seen but never thought to look up, or things you think might be words, but you should check before integrating them into your vocabulary.

I loved this idea so much that I had to have something like it to study for the GRE. I didn't have an appropriate notebook lying around and I thought it was a little silly to go out and buy something just for writing down words I'd heard and used before but needed 100% accurate definitions for. So I thought for a while and decided I'd just make a little booklet by stapling together a couple pages. As I went to staple my cutesy little "notebook," I realized just how tiny my stapler was. Sure, I could've stapled the thing along the edge, but I wanted to make it more like a magazine, with the staples right in the middle of the creasy thing.

I always see things in the store and think "I could do that." Often, the thought is "I can do that better." I'd seen notebooks sewn by hand and thought, "too easy. Who would pay 20 bucks for that?" This was the obvious solution to my vocabulary notebook dilemma! I'd just use a needle and thread and it would be functional and attractive, right?

Well, kind of. I used an awl (out of a teeny-tiny screwdriver set) to get the holes in the pages so I wouldn't have to jab a needle through every time. I didn't really know what I was doing so I just started sewing. Most of the time, I sat there thinking "I can't believe I'm sewing paper." It seemed to take forever-- probably about 90 minutes. I used 6 pieces of 8.5x14 paper cut into quarters. Sewing each section was fine; getting the sections to hold together was quite the challenge. It isn't nearly as attractive as the stuff you might see in a gift shop. It's a little flimsy and the sets of pages/chunks/sections seem like they'll come apart any second, even though they're well secured to one another. It was fun and very cheap and slightly time consuming, but the coolest part is that it's something I made and I'll actually use. I have lots of drawings and paintings and crafts around the house, but the last useful thing I recall making was a situpon when I was a Brownie Girl Scout.

To make a lovely notebook as I did, you need:

• a couple sheets of paper
• scissors (a paper cutter would be a better choice)
  
• a poking device, such as an awl
• needle
• thread (please, only pretty colors)
  
• a little time
• a little patience

Also, a ruler would not be a bad idea. I didn't use one.

Decide how big you want your book to be. Or cut a lot of paper to the same size, making sure it's twice the size of your finished product. Divide the cut sheets into sections. 6 sheets per section worked well for me. Fold the pages of each section in half. Poke holes along the crease you created. Two holes are good, 4 are better. Secure the pages of each section to each other by sewing. You should just be running the needle round and round and round the same two holes. Do this until you think it's secure. Tie the thread so it doesn't come undone. If you make 4 holes instead of 2, you should be doing this twice for each section of the booklet.

To secure the sections to each other, well, that's anyone's guess. Good luck. I sewed around and through and over and under till I thought I couldn't stand it anymore. I tried to make my stitches tight, but they're very loose. I also poked my holes at uneven intervals, thinking it would look more interesting from the outside for the thread to be coming from lots of different places. That's why I didn't use a ruler and recommend using one. It does not look cool. It looks spidery (especially since I used navy thread for that part).

It's not pretty but it's fun. I made it myself. It probably cost around six cents to make. And I'm getting a ton of use out of it.

Check yo self before you wreck yo self. Or, the importance of correct grammar and perhaps an editor.

This is not a confession. This is a public service announcement.

I am a grammar snob. I used to think I wasn't. Of course I make mistakes myself, but in writing, interviews, and formal settings, I'm extremely cautious. Sometimes, those little tiny errors really matter.

There is one common mistake I hear all the time. I never realized just how bad it was until I was seeing Richard Burr's campaign ads multiple times a day. My friends, I present the commercial:

"As a father, I know Richard Burr is concerned about his children's future."

Alex Gonzales, College Student (by the way, Alex is a female)

Alex, I don't know you, but I'm pretty sure you're not a father. Had I committed such a grammar crime, every single one of my professors would have been on my case. This is an example of a dangling modifier. Don't get caught in a trap because of it.

Examples:

1. As a criminal, I think OJ Simpson has gotten some bad press. (Oh yeah? What are your criminal standards like? Are you incriminating yourself?)
2. Having been painted, you should enjoy your room a lot more. (You got painted? Take a bath.)
3. After getting completely trashed, Anna needed to make repairs to her house. (Working with a hangover is no fun.)
4. Having been beaten, Beth put the eggs in the mixing bowl. (Beth needs to get help. I know this example is not funny, but this is one of the cases that may cause alarm.)

A dangling modifier doesn't correspond clearly with what it's supposed to modify. Sure, we can assume that the house got painted, but why make your poor audience guess?

I think you get the idea. Luckily, Burr and Ms. Gonzales didn't make our work too hard. We understand that he is a father and she is a supporter.

I hope you, dear reader, will watch your modifiers and try to dangle them as infrequently as possible.

I can just hear it now: (cue dramatic music) Did you know that Richard Burr dangles his modifiers?