Check yo self before you wreck yo self. Or, the importance of correct grammar and perhaps an editor.

This is not a confession. This is a public service announcement.

I am a grammar snob. I used to think I wasn't. Of course I make mistakes myself, but in writing, interviews, and formal settings, I'm extremely cautious. Sometimes, those little tiny errors really matter.

There is one common mistake I hear all the time. I never realized just how bad it was until I was seeing Richard Burr's campaign ads multiple times a day. My friends, I present the commercial:

"As a father, I know Richard Burr is concerned about his children's future."

Alex Gonzales, College Student (by the way, Alex is a female)

Alex, I don't know you, but I'm pretty sure you're not a father. Had I committed such a grammar crime, every single one of my professors would have been on my case. This is an example of a dangling modifier. Don't get caught in a trap because of it.

Examples:

1. As a criminal, I think OJ Simpson has gotten some bad press. (Oh yeah? What are your criminal standards like? Are you incriminating yourself?)
2. Having been painted, you should enjoy your room a lot more. (You got painted? Take a bath.)
3. After getting completely trashed, Anna needed to make repairs to her house. (Working with a hangover is no fun.)
4. Having been beaten, Beth put the eggs in the mixing bowl. (Beth needs to get help. I know this example is not funny, but this is one of the cases that may cause alarm.)

A dangling modifier doesn't correspond clearly with what it's supposed to modify. Sure, we can assume that the house got painted, but why make your poor audience guess?

I think you get the idea. Luckily, Burr and Ms. Gonzales didn't make our work too hard. We understand that he is a father and she is a supporter.

I hope you, dear reader, will watch your modifiers and try to dangle them as infrequently as possible.

I can just hear it now: (cue dramatic music) Did you know that Richard Burr dangles his modifiers?